What if F. Scott Fitzgerald were a college admissions officer?

A bit of fun before the New Year…Slate offers a rather interesting analysis of how  F. Scott Fitzgerald perceived students from the Big Three

I doubt admissions professionals from any school will be looking for these characteristics any time soon, and I bet I know a couple of Harvard alumni that would beg to differ with Fitzgerald’s portrayal, but I wonder how contemporary authors would describe students today from Harvard, Princeton and Yale.